I had a realization. My facebook statuses make me look like a fat zit faced teenager with zero social skills.
If you only knew me through facebook, imagine what picture these statuses would paint in your mind... (and these only have to do with my physical appearance...)
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| read this blog. now. it is hilarious and reminds me how i feel sometimes about food. God of Cake, Hyperbole and a Half |
6/18/2009my shorts match my toenails. who knew that GAP carries Skanky Barbie Fuchsia colored clothes?!
11/3/2009
i feel like i am going to vomit. is it nerves, or that ridiculously large chimichanga i just ate?
3/27/2010
Bethany looks likes someone smashed Cheetos on her face.
5/24/2010
i have a heating pad stuck to my back, my right foot is still swollen and bruised, and i have blood running from my heel into my shoe. i thought i had at least 40 more years until my body started falling apart.9/9/2010
either i got bit by a gnarly bug or has the worlds largest zit. either way, my eye is swelling shut...
9/30/2010
why i like hanging out in the hfac print lab: "i like your sideburns, i mean the lack there of. They have a nice shape, they aren't like guys since you don't have facial hair."- Brannon
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| my purple hair. |
12/24/2010
i think i looked better as a brunette instead of a purplette. christmas eve dye job fail.
2/8/2011
i made an arm sling out of my sweater belt. classy. 5/3/2011
i woke up with mascara on my chin. how the?
5/12/2011
Levi informed me that today my shoes are outlandish in both color and height.
Did it seriously take him 4 straight years of working everyday with me to catch on to that?
5/31/2011
you always (secretly) hope that the day you run into your arch-nemesis after many years you look beyond fantastic, alas when that happened to me today i had a frumpy braid, extra big sweater, one fist holding a chunk of fudge and the other shoving a cookie into my mouth... i guess they just won again. damn.
6/23/2011
I am going to go ahead and pretend that since I can't see my butt hanging out the four inch hole in my shorts, no one else can either...
When you go to school with no makeup or deodorant, wearing sweat pant shorts and your sister's maternity shirt, your day only has the possibility of getting better.
But the hard truth is, I have photographic evidence that this does indeed paint an accurate picture of me. (and sadly, the photos even say more and are more frequent...)
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| case and point |
And then there are the statuses that make me look like i have zero social skillz, to go with my 'i just ate an entire batch of cookie dough' persona...
11/21/2009
when i put on my sunglasses i thought, "wow this is like the recovery slider in the RAW window of Photoshop..." and that is when i realized i am a huge nerd.
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| these are just so i feel better about my self. |
3/4/2010
Day #3 of using a princess sandwich tupperware as a water glass. time to do the dishes at the office...
3/22/2010
i feel pathetic, either too much photographing or too much invoice folding (at super sonic speeds) has landed me in a wrist brace.
6/30/2010
i hope God has a replay button for our lives. I really want to know who screamed first in their sleep last night which caused me and Jenny to end up in a bear hug (complete with her nails digging into my arm) screaming at each other in terror. we also terrified ada which added to the screaming mayhem. fun times at the Davis household at 3:45 in the am...
7/8/2010
thank you, efy boy, that flirted with me today. even though you may have thought i was 14, my dating moral has still been boosted.
11/23/2010
apparently my long jumping skills were much better in the 8th grade. Hey running clothes and iPhone, meet the middle of this super muddy and merky marsh!
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| see, i can be cute. |
3/3/2011
days that start with car failure and end with a razor blade lodged in my finger are pretty memorable.3/7/2011
thanks to Carrie and Jenny, I now have a tag line for my blog. I am cool in a perfectly awkward, uncool way. exactly what i always wanted to be!
5/6/2011
So I just accidentally went to a midnight showing of Thor by myself. I am awesome.
6/7/2011
mom "you should really go to that big east coast single adult conference next summer, it sounds like a fun vacation and it is full of doctors and lawyers, real catches...
" me "so you have that little of faith in my dating skills that you are planning a year in advance to find me a date." mom "oh no, i mean, it just seems like..."
" me "so you have that little of faith in my dating skills that you are planning a year in advance to find me a date." mom "oh no, i mean, it just seems like..."
6/20/2011
apparently texting people when deliriously tired is equivalent to drunk dialing.
no i didn't do that recently...to a boy...that i want to date.
damn.
Though amidst the unbecoming statuses there were a few gems that give a hint as to my true awesomeness, i would say that my social networking skills need a bit of help.