"so... can you just tell me why i'm that girl that never really dates anyone? I mean, out of the three guys that halfway dated me in the last year, you are on the nice end of the spectrum and are probably the only one that would tell me..."
No, i didn't recently start a phone conversation with that... okay, maybe i did.
As i have been blowing through discs of Mad Men--before Netflix charges me more to view dvds at home--i found this great quote:
No, i didn't recently start a phone conversation with that... okay, maybe i did.
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| every post that involves something off about myself deserves one good photo. I pride myself in my ability to dress myself. Today i pretty much looked like this (but subtract the hipster glasses and replace them with classy square frames) but add a blue necklace, lime green shoes, a pink/orange bag, and purple nails. A rainbow explosion at its best. |
Here is brief history of my dating.
-at 16 i actually had a boyfriend, the only time the 'title' happened. This relationship lasted about six months but was high school mormon dating which=not real dating. You know the type, you are best friends and everyone knows your dating and after a couple months they kiss you, real heavy stuff.
-a couple boys who i would rather forget that i ever knew let alone kissed...
-My freshmen year of college i kinda dated a great guy. We never officially dated, he kissed me the night before he went home for the summer and then one visit and a couple months later he went on a two year mission. We wrote the entire time but when he got home i freaked out (I was terrified of the stereotypical return missionary that is pining for marriage).
He got married last week.
-Last summer i thought i was dating a kid but it turns out he never really told anyone about me and when someone called him my boyfriend he freaked out and broke up with me.
-and now my newest phenomenon, a variation of:
boys that know me but never talk to me. One day that actually talk to me and decide i am super cool, hangout with me a ton and then drop off the face of the earth.
This takes us to my recent phone call.
For the last couple months I have been spending time with a certain fellow. We have mutual friends and met a year and half ago but only really started hanging out recently.
This is where is gets sticky. You see, i now view myself as the main character of He Loves Me He Loves Me Not (a fantastic french film, go netflix it.) The tagline should explain it, "Is she crazy in love, or just crazy." Turns out I am the 'just crazy' type.
We went on numerous dates, or accidental dates as he called them. People would refer to us as dating when we were out and he would always make some agreeing statement. He called me Honey, came over one night at midnight just to say hi because he felt like he hadn't seen me in a long time (it had been a week), asked me about a boy i didn't date last year--he wanted to make sure he wasn't doing the same things that turned me off...
And the list continues.
To me--in public--it looked like we were dating. However, we weren't. We did hold hands once, but that is one of those situations where i still can't decide if he wasn't trying but i thought he was so i went with it, or if he was legitimately trying...
After a couple months of this i was sorely confused and annoyed so i called him out on it. He apparently didn't see the same things and was more than a little surprised at my view. During our conversation i asked him why i never really date and what i need to work on. After an hour i feel that most of the things he told me where things about himself and not me (oh the irony, i ask and can't accept, we never want to see ourselves as less than awesome). He said i was too forward but also said he likes forward girls. He said i text too much but still texted me to hangout. He said i make it too easy for non-interested boys to spend time with me yet he made the first move and had me over for cinnamon rolls and took me to a movie three days after we first hungout. Basically i feel it all boils down to attraction and though he didn't say it, he was never interested. This is what makes me that crazy girl. That girl that read every sign possible, the exact wrong way.
As i have been blowing through discs of Mad Men--before Netflix charges me more to view dvds at home--i found this great quote:
"So do you go on those dates were you ask each other questions?"
"Its a means to an end."
"But nobody knows whats wrong with themselves, i mean everyone else can see it right away."
And since i already opened pandora's box about my less than desirable qualities, i might as well continue. here is the list of things i am working on:
-i am better at talking about myself than asking questions about you-i do not shower everyday-i can be a bit overwhelming on the text front-i give awkward goodbyes-i say whatever i am thinking which can sometimes be inappropriate-i would rather do everything myself than let someone help me-i am slightly addicted to shopping, mainly at banana republic-
And now that i am a self proclaimed 'crazy girl' and am having zero success at dating on my own. I hereby change my previous dating practices and will go willingly on any blind date any lovely creature plans. The only stipulation is that you actually think we are compatible and don't just set me up because we are both single...
oh on a side now... said fellow is a great guy and we are still friends. It is amazing what actually talking to someone about why you aren't dating makes things less awkward.